I have two boys. The elder one is almost touching 14 and the younger one is rolling towards being an 8. Of course motherhood has changed me completely and it has been an overwhelming experience till now . I have been a hands-on mom from the day they were born.With no help around, I juggled my postpartum, diaper saga, baby food, vomits their massages & baths and every milestone alone. I believe that I have evolved and grown beautifully as a Mom and as human being more so after becoming a Mother.
All was well and I thought I was doing pretty well as a mom as I continued to nurture them in my own sweet ways, till about recently when my teenaged son threw a few bombs at me. This happened – one fine day while I was serving him lunch, he asked me nonchalantly “Why can’t you be and behave like the other moms ?” Me under the shock of his statement had no clue what he meant, as till now I felt I was good at my craft and was doing well, but suddenly I felt like a failure !
So I sat down next to him focusing not to lose my cool and asked him to elaborate so I could decipher the hidden meaning of his statement. He rattled off like a road runner as if he has been waiting to ask / tell me all this.
He started by saying “I don’t thing other moms behave or do stuff like you do mom” ! and I was like Okaaaay ! NO ? Really ? LIKE WHAT ?? And then came out a long list of the things which me as a mom should not be doing at all.
Not -to -do -list as per my elder son !
Why can’t you stop giving us these weird lovey dovey names which make no sense and just call us with our real names instead?
Why do you also need to have fun with the bubble wrap that we lay hands on ?
Why do you keep dancing around the house with your iPod and don’t care about what if someone is watching you?
Why do you steal our chocolates and candies ?
Why do you pounce on us in bed and cuddle and tickle us whenever you fancy?
Why do you sing for us loudly using all those weird names ?
Why do you have to be so friendly with my friends when you meet them? That’s why I don’t get my friends home often.
Why do you call my name and wave good bye and throw flying kisses as I board the school bus?
Why do you come to the bus stop at all? I am big boy and don’t need an escort.
Why do u keep putting ghee in my Rajma-Chawal,Dal-Chawal ? Though it tastes yummy but I don’t want to turn fat like you ! Ouch ..
Why do u make funny faces and make me laugh while my tuition class is on?
Why do you keep checking my phone?
Why do you pretend you know nothing and ask me help you to download something for you when I know you know it all ?
Why can’t you be serious like other moms?
Why are you fat and short and not slim like the other Moms around. I am embarrassed to get my friends home. Double Ouch! That did hurt.
Hmm time to ponder . My boy wants me to change me and my ways of showing love. I gave him a tight hug and said that I am going to seriously think on these points . Contended he went back to his room and left me reeling under the thunderous effect of his TED Talk ! He doesn’t like me doing all this ? Really ? I am fat ? so fat that he is now embarrassed ? ?
And So, it was time for some real thinking and a glass of chilled wine .
The wine did good to my serotonin and I understood his point of view. He was growing and having his own tussle of being called my baby and a young boy now… Of course he doesn’t appreciate my PDA (Public Display of Affection) anymore ..He doesn’t like me pulling his cheeks anymore .. How I wish I could tell him to soak in this love of mine for a little more time before he leaves my abode in pursuit of higher education and knowledge to far away lands.. Sigh ! We never know what destiny holds for us. So why don’t we stop rushing and slow down and live each day to its fullest today. Any which ways one day he will have to move away from me for the sake of learning or earning. Wish I could change/edit the list on his mind and excuse myself.
So do you think I should abide by all his rules and surrender and change my ways …?
Nah ! I don’t think so.. So I sat down to explain a few things to him. The name tags given to you originate from the deepest love and affection I have for you..Your chocolate that I share is because i want to prepare you to pay Income Tax in the future. The extra ghee in your food is so that you grow healthy and strong. I check your phone as I need to know what are you upto. I make funny faces to cheer you up during your tiring and sometimes boring tuition classes and it sure does bring a smile to your face. I wish to make your friends feel at home and so the little chat with them is important at times.The goodbyes will keep happening till you make it a point to say a polite bye on your own as you board the bus. So basically things are going to be stay pretty much the same but one thing that is going to change in that list is your concern on the way your mom looks. Though I know what a lazy procrastinator I can be when it comes to working out but I understood your outlook on this and I promise to be a fitter-slimmer mom for you so that you don’t feel embarrassed any more.
But till that time let’s make more wonderful memories for you. Let me keep sharing more stories with you about my childhood and growing up years and my amazing episodes of success & failure and tales of my childhood masti and legend adventures. These things which I do is to only make you smile and I hope you will fondly remember all my silly tactics that made you smile as you were growing up. Please remember how cool and chilled out your mom was . My only endeavour now is to be a friend to you that just being a mom so you could confide in me anytime.
I think he understood that cause that night as I was tucking him in bed with his favourite comforter he asked me to sit beside him and share one more incident from my childhood and he also did let me stroke his hair that night. And as I watched him slip into a sweet slumber I smiled at his innocence and love for me . And tomorrow it’s time to keep up the promise and hit the gym with a vengeance.